KillZone 6

Right guys!

Here's what I think should happen:

Start the show with a match. Elite Bloodline vs. Predators in Paradise was already set last week so we should go with that, have it be announced as a number one contenders match. Lead into Black Blooded laying both teams out and a cutting a promo about how they're the real elite and predators in JBW, also saying that they'll prove it at IJFB by taking both teams out.

Hawk-KJ in ring promo. Maybe something to do with Hawk's TV gimmick (TV show esque).

Tommy Thunder backstage promo with Stacy Mitchell- about tag match main event and IJFB (TDA/Shuri vs. Thunder/HJ- HJ & Thunder win and they end the show looking strong).

TDA backstage promo with Stacy Mitchell about main event and IJFB.

Ma$$ promo ripping into Jabe again. Athena heads out and ridicules Ma$$ about attacking her a few weeks back. Leads into Ma$$ vs. Athena. Ma$$ wins and tries to attack Athena post-match. Cage makes the save and challenges Ma$$ to a match at IJFB.

Smyth-Vulgar promo building to Black-Vulgar at IJFB.

Chase 'The Ace' Walker & Israel Pamich backstage promos.

Juarez-Alexander promo leading into Jman announcing the Death Row match will be a number one contenders match as well as announcing a rematch of Do or Die for now.

Eddie Juarez & Jason Alexander vs. The Panzer Division. Juarez & Alexander win when Juarez lays Alexander out and drags him on top of one of the Panzers. (Similar to Do or Die finish).

VHX promo with Jman announcing a special guest referee (as in the Shining-Van feud).

Divine backstage promo should Bear be able to do a promo.

Shaz-Doom backstage promo.

Thoughts? Changes?

I'm cool with all that. Let's spice it up a little though and, after Cage runs off Ma$$, have Alphs come out and acknowledge his old pal Malcolm.

Works perfectly for me.

I'm thinking we change the Alexander-Juarez promo to a pre-match promo from Alexander talking about last week's finish, talking about the level of respect that is there between Juarez & Alexander now. This will lead to J coming out and making the match. Juarez cuts a promo post-match after laying Alexander out.

EdDave wrote:

I'm thinking we change the Alexander-Juarez promo to a pre-match promo from Alexander talking about last week's finish, talking about the level of respect that is there between Juarez & Alexander now. This will lead to J coming out and making the match. Juarez cuts a promo post-match after laying Alexander out.

That sounds great to me, but it ain't my feud. :p

EdDave wrote:

I'm thinking we change the Alexander-Juarez promo to a pre-match promo from Alexander talking about last week's finish, talking about the level of respect that there should've been between Juarez & Alexander now (which he kinda ruined with that shove and even more so with the vengeance of what Jason did at Do or Die here). This will lead to J coming out and making the match. Juarez cuts a promo post-match after laying Alexander out.

I agree to this with bolded notes above and since Juarez has gotten the better of Jason, on our most recent KZ and will do again on this one, I think its fair that at MSG, JA (through whatever Eddie decides is best) stand tall over Juarez before IJFB. Really make it seem it's anybody's game at the PPV.

Z

I don't think either guy got the better of each other last week. The shove was just a tease.

As for the MSG bit, I agree. Alexander should stand tall.

Also, in your promo J- have Jman say that if Juarez & Alexander don't win against The Panzers, their match won't be for the number one contendership at IJFB. Means they'll have to coexist.

*Ma$$/Athena promo*

A referee comes hauling ass down the ramp as Ma$$ and Athena head to opposite corners.

Pat: Folks, I’m getting word that this match is official.

Dudley: No shit? Is that why a ref just flew out here?

Pat: Bite me.

Dudley: Ha! Well, without much hype, I guess it’s time for Ma$$’ return to singles competition in JBW.

Pat: Yup. In the year or so since Ma$$ wrestled in Jabe, a lot has changed. For example, I hate him now.

Dudley: You’re rooting for the scary chick, then?

Pat: As a matter of fact, yeah. Go Athena!

With that, the bell sounds and Ma$$ initiates the lock up with Athena.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlu5dhXljHM

Pat: Well, Athena’s had her moments, but Ma$$ is controlling this one pretty handily.

Dudley: No surprise there.

After an Irish Whip from Ma$$, Athena is stuck in the corner with “Mr. JBW” going to work with lefts and rights on her. The ref drags Ma$$ away for a moment, but he’s back on Athena before she can recover. Again, senior official Willie Willie pulls Ma$$ away but, while he doing so, Dave King takes advantage of the distraction by tripping Athena.

Pat: Oh come on! Look at Ma$$ laughing like an idiot!

Dudley: Hahaha! This is beautiful.

Pat: Hey! Athena!

From out of nowhere, Athena charges out of the corner and looks for a spear on Ma$$. Instead, though, Kid Cannibus sidesteps The Amazon and she winds up spearing poor ol’ Willie. Seeing his opening, Ma$$ walks over to Athena and starts pulling her up by the hair. Like a true FemiNazi would, though, Athena goes right for the balls.

Dudley: Ohhhh, Jesus! Athena has a vice grip on Ma$$’ yambags! This isn’t right!

Pat: I hate to agree with you Duds, but I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.

With one last mighty squeeze to the biggest grapefruits in the business, Athena sends Ma$$ to the mat writhing in pain. Problem is, there’s no referee. Athena tries to rectify that problem by shaking Willie awake, and that seems to work. Willie begins to stir as Athena turns her attention back to a still hurting Ma$$. She signals for the Amazon Slam, to the cheers of the crowd, before starting to pull Ma$$ up. Just then, tough, a picture perfect MFWTLAAIGWTBSTS, complete with brass knucks, connects flush on Athena’s jaw and knocks her out cold.

Pat: Come on!

Ma$$, miraculously healed from his ordeal a moment ago, hops up, throws the knucks at Dave’s head, and starts doing jumping jacks. After a set of ten and some ferocious booing from the crowd, Ma$$ sees Willie getting to his feet and slides into a lazy cover.

One!

Pat: Not!

Two!

Pat: This!

Three!

Pat: Waaay!

Dudley: Hahaha! We’re not worthy!

To nuclear heat, Ma$$ gets to his feet and reaches into his trunks.

Pat: What the-?

Dudley: Ha! Ma$$ was wearing a cup! He didn’t feel any of that squeeze! Brilliant!

Pat can’t do anything but sigh on commentary as Ma$$, in typical Ma$$ fashion, disposes of his cup by dropping it onto Athena’s face. Ma$$ has one leg through the ropes now and is about to leave the ring when something occurs to him. He steps back through the ropes, mounts the still unconscious Athena and starts hitting her with stiff lefts and rights to the face.

Dudley: That’s it, Ma$$, get her!

Pat: This is ridiculous! Somebody stop this! Stop it no-Malcolm Cage!

Indeed, the crowd pops like crazy as Cage zooms down the ramp. That pop, though, also serves to give Ma$$ a chance to sneak out the back door. With Ma$$ on the floor nearest the announce table, Cage can only kick the cup out of the ring to take out his frustrations. Ma$$ backs his way around the ring and up the ramp, laughing all the way, as Cage grabs a mic.

Before he can speak, though the hooded man we’ve seen around the last few weeks comes through the curtain. Malcolm stares the man down and the man smiles at Cage, claps for him and walks back through the curtain. Malcolm takes a second to let what he just saw sink in before starting to speak.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=CnOxF0n4hcQ

The fans immediately begin to cheer as The Panzer Division walk out onto the stage for the first time since Resurrection. Both men hold up beer bottles to the crowd who roar their approval. Jason Alexander looks angrily at the ramp as he waits for Eddie Juarez to walk out.

Patrick Riley: Well this is a rematch of the match that took place in HWA where the rivalry between Alexander and Juarez began!

Dudley Erickson: I don’t give a damn about HWA. This is JBW and tonight, Eddie Juarez and Jason Alexander have to co-exist!

Patrick Riley: Can they do it? That’s the real question.

Dudley Erickson: Only one way to find out.

The Panzers reach the ring and stare at Alexander across the ring. Alexander stands back and awaits his partner.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zagQpB_c0M

The fans react with a mixed reaction, with definitely more booing than cheers as Eddie Juarez walks out to the stage. He smirks as he makes his way down the ramp. He slides into the ring and walks across to Alexander. They stare down for a few seconds before Alexander climbs onto the apron and Juarez gets ready to start the match.

Patrick Riley: These two are going to Death Row very soon! I can’t wait!

Dudley Erickson: They’ll be going through hell and the winner will deserve the JBW World Heavyweight Championship shot that awaits them!

Patrick Riley: Well, both TDA & Tommy Thunder will definitely be watching this match, scouting their possible opponents for Monarchy of Aggression!

Dudley Erickson: I think they’ll just be bothered about their own match at In Justice For Brawl first.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcYtgYhE900
(Juarez= Guerrero, Alexander= Mysterio, The Bashams= The Panzers)
(from 3:56)

Patrick Riley: Alexander has been completely stopped from tagging in Juarez!

Dudley Erickson: Terrific teamwork by The Panzer Division!

Karl continues to lock in the Full Nelson on Alexander as Karl continues to lock in the pressure. Alexander kicks back, managing to connect with Karl’s gut. Alexander runs forwards and bounces off the ropes, hitting an Enziguiri! Both men are down, centre of the ring.

Patrick Riley: Great move from Alexander! He can now get the tag!

Dudley Erickson: If he can bring himself to tag in Juarez!

Karl begins to move across to his corner as Alexander uses the ropes to climb to his feet. Juarez holds his hand out at Alexander, who looks at it angrily. Karl manages to get the tag as Juarez screams at Alexander to tag him in. Alexander runs forward and Oli smashes him down with a forearm as Juarez is angry on the apron. Oli grabs hold of Alexander’s hair and drags him up, backing him into the ropes and bouncing him off, hitting a side walk slam on the return. Oli goes for a cover.

One!

Two!

Thr-NO!

Juarez breaks it up! Juarez dropkicks Oli as he climbs up and Oli backs up into Karl, who falls off the apron. Juarez drags Alexander across to their corner and climbs out, tagging himself in. Juarez climbs back into the ring and runs at Oli, going for a hurricarana but Oli catches Juarez and goes for a Powerbomb but Juarez drops over Oli’s shoulders.

Oli turns around as Juarez kicks him in the gut and goes for a vertical suplex, landing it! He flips the hips and hits a second vertical suplex, before completing the three amigos! Juarez points at the top rope as the fans begin to cheer.

Patrick Riley: Juarez is going for it!

Dudley Erickson: Here it comes!

Juarez climbs to the top rope and goes for a Frog Splash, landing it! He grabs his ribs as he climbs back to his feet and backs up to the corner, where Alexander tags himself in! Alexander climbs up as Juarez sees Karl trying to climb back into the ring. Juarez runs forwards and kicks Karl back through the ropes with a baseball slide. He turns around as Alexander lands Your Worst Nightmare (Inverted Twisting Shooting Star Press)! He covers Oli.

One!

Two!

Three!

Darren Black: Here are your winners...the team of ‘The Most Dangerous Man in the World’ Eddie Juarez and ‘The Puerto Rican Nightmare’ Jason Alexander!

Patrick Riley: They did it! They co-existed!

Dudley Erickson: Well, sort of.

Eddie turns to Jason, who is celebrating on the turnbuckle. Jason drops down and turns around to be hit with The Darkest Nightmare (High Impact Knee to the Face)!

Patrick Riley: Juarez just hit Alexander with his own finisher!

Dudley Erickson: I knew it! This was always going to happen! They can’t co-exist!

Patrick Riley: But it’s after the match! Jman never said anything about after the match!

Juarez looks down at Alexander. He turns around and asks for a microphone, which he swiftly receives.

Eddie Juarez: I told you nine months ago esse, I will get you back. Tonight, this is just the beginning of that happening. In just two weeks time, we’re going to step into one of the most hellacious matches ever devised. And I’m going to finish you Jason. I can promise you that.

All of these months I’ve been waiting, praying for a match like this where you and I can finally let loose all of the hatred and anger that both of us have inside to put each other through hell. This match will be completely barbaric, it will leave each of us in such a state that neither of us will ever want to go through something as inhuman again.

The fans give a mixed reaction.

Eddie Juarez: It’s a little bit ironic isn’t it Jason? A feud beginning in HWA ends with a match that was created and born over there in HWA. For years, the men who were housed in that prison, they went through merciless pain, but compared to what I’m going to put you through, they had a walk in the park.

Jason, in just two weeks time, the diabolical pain that awaits you will be the very worst pain you have ever felt. And who will it be dished out by? None other than myself. Eddie Juarez.

Eddie throws his head back as the fans give a mixed reaction. Some fans join in with the next few words, as the rest of them boo.

Eddie Juarez: REMEMBER THE NAME!

Eddie throws the microphone away as he laughs.

Alexander starts his pre-match stretching when Jman, sitting comfortably in his office, appears on the JabeTron. The crowd pops as J takes a sip of water before starting to speak.

Jman: Jason, Eddie, I’m glad you two are out there. See, I’m not stupid. I know, if this were just a normal tag team match, you guys would have absolutely no problem losing the match if it meant getting your hands on the other guy. If I were in that situation, I’d be thinking along those lines. But, that’s not how tonight is going to go.
No, tonight, Jason Alexander and Eddie Juarez must coexist.

Neither Jason nor Eddie look too pleased with that as J continues.

Jman: Why? Because, if they do, if they work as a unit to defeat Karl and Oli Panzer tonight, then the Death Row Match at In Justice For Brawl will be a number one contender’s match for the JBW World Heavyweight Championship.

The crowd pops like crazy at that and Juarez and Alexander looked pleased as well.

Jman: Don’t fuck this up, hombres.

With that, our general manager is gone. Eddie and Jason exchange a few words before…
====================================================

*Van HXs music blasts through the arena and he walks out in no rush whatsoever and takes his sweet ass time to get to the ring. He has a smug look on his face as the JBW audience gives him a piece of their mind, nothing new here though. He finally gets inside of the ring but not before picking up the mic that was left on the steel steps. The music stops and the full force of the crowd can be heard.*

Van: Pathetic! Truly, truly pathetic!

I realised as soon as I began my career that the crowd that follows this federation were delusional as fuck but this goes beyond comprehension. You all do seem to forget who I am? I am The Vanity. I wasn't used for 4 god damn months and still dragged you assholes in the awards show with best newcomer!

The very least you all could do is give me the credit that I truly deserve! I am not only JBWs biggest threat! I am not only the best this place has to offer! But I am going to end Desperate Divines title reign at the next pay-per-view.

The reason I am out here is to tell that idiot that you all call a JBW legend, JMan. To get off his ass and give me a 1-on-1 match with him. The only reason he didn't do this in the first place is because of the fact he fears me being 1 of his champions. Just like all previous legends his dump made fear me. No exceptions!

*Needless to say, VHX is getting very deeply under the crowds skin. They continue to boo at him with damn near everything they have.*

You fools! I literally speak the truth. Open your minds to reality and you live in denial. I could face any 1 of your legends and make them tap like a bitch. I don't want to sound like JBL when I say this but I'm not just a wrestling deity, I am a god! Above each and every single 1 of you pathetic excuses. This goes for the unemployed bums in the crowd, the whores, the kids, the staff at this dump of an arena, the roster, the management, etc.

When I save this title, you will all realise the mistake you've made in your lives and convert to your new god. But I'm getting a head of myself here.

JMan, come out here. Announce the rightful match and then get the fuck out of my ring!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwIvBNsSywQ

Thinking Jman might actually take Van up on his offer, the crowd pops like crazy as Back in Black hits. J, in a In Justice For Brawl T-Shirt and jeans, walks onto the stage with a mic in his right hand. Van is fired up as Jman begins to speak.

Jman: Ohhh, Van, you don’t know how badly I want to run down there and kick your ass up and down the city of Atlanta.

The crowd pops again but J motions for them to quiet down.

Jman: But, y’know, that’s not my job anymore.

Boos of sympathy fill the arena and Van looks disappointed.

Jman: It’s good we’re talking, though, Vanity. See, at In Justice For Brawl, I have a little surprise for you and Divine. Someone whom I trust very much is going to officiate your match. It’s someone, Van, who deserves the utmost respect and it’s someone you and Divine know well. No spoilers from me, though.

With that, J walks off and leaves Van looking confused as the crowd cheers.

Alexander is in the ring mic in hand ready to speak even as the fans cannot stop cheering and chanting his name.

Alexander: Last week, for the first time in a very, very long time truths were spoken and emotion was put forth in this ring like never before when Juarez and I finished this show off with a level of respect that I foolishly believed Juarez would uphold but when he ruined that moment with that shove, I knew he yet to really respect and more so fear me.

Alexander fans cheer excited as Juarez's fans boo Alexander

Alexander: You still think you stand a chance against me. Oh, how I'm going to enjoy our Death Row match at In Justice Brawl. No restrictions, no mercy and no more Juarez is what's on my mind.

Come In Justice For Brawl.......Alexander!!!

Fans cheer at Alexander

Alexander: That's the last thing you'll hear, Juarez. This ends only one way, Juarez. Embracing the fact that you could never be even half the man that I am.

A chant for Juarez comes up but is soon drowned in the Alexander chant that follow.

Alexander: Now....-Alexander turns deadly serious-...TDA...Thunder....enjoy your games, because no matter which of you ends up as champion after In Justice for Brawl, I'm coming for the JBW World Heavyweight Championship. That's no promise nor a guarantee, that's a vow.

I'm going to be the next champion and nobody, beginning with Juarez is going to stand in my way, if they do....they only to look at the massacre Juarez will go through to see what I'll do to get the job done.

Alexander drops the mic and exits the ring.

Add anything or edit it if need be to fit what you had in mind.

We come back from the commercials, and Pat and Dudley are shown at ringside.

Pat: Welcome back, folks, and, you're not gonna guess who's standing in the middle of the ring right now!

The view switches to the hard camera, and Ma$$Dinero and Dave are shown standing in the middle of the ring.

Ma$$ is dressed in a pair of black denim Versace jeans, a pair of white Reebok Classics with the toffee grip, and a black t-shirt emblazoned with the words "Ma$$Dinero's Badass Wrestling" on the chest, with an "MBW" logo on the shoulder.

Dave is dressed in his usual black suit, black shirt, and smart black shoes.

Ma$$Dinero lifts his platinum and diamond encrusted mic to speak.

Ma$$: That's right, people, at home--no long drawn out intro, just straight up in ring promo shit. See, I'm about to take up enough of your time without padding things out with my and Dave's journey from the car park to the ring.

Dave: Before we continue, I must point out that you all missed out on seeing what would have been one of our most entertaining entrances yet.

Ma$$: Yep. That stare down with TDA was pretty intense, for sure, but, oh well, I guess you lot will have to wait for that face off. Right now I'm actually out here at the request of management, who PM'd me to tell me that I'll be coming out here to rip the roster as usual, and wait to be interrupted by someone who I'm not at liberty to reveal right now.

Now, I'm not one to blindly follow orders, but, the offer to rip the roster carte blanche was kinda too hard to resist, soooo, like, here we go.

Dave: That's right, folks, it's time for..

[U]Ma$$Dinero's Top Ten Wankers/U]

Ma$$: Before we actually start, I just want everyone to know that JMan won't be on this list. JMan can't be a wanker, because he doesn't have a penis.

Number 10

http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/bg_knight/bg_knight0807/bg_knight080700158/3277787-hooligan-boy-with-baseball-stick-on-green.jpg" border="0" alt=""/>

Van Hooligan X

Ma$$: Yes, people, Vee 'aitch X. Anybody with an X in his name has to be either a mutant, or a straight up wanker. Like, what the fuck does the X even stand for anyway?

Dave: X-fluffer?

Ma$$: X marks the steroid spots on his back?

Dave: X-citing as being forced to watch the entire run of Killzone so far back to back?

Ma$$: X-ceptionally good at knitting his own ring tights?

Dave: X-treme to the max and deodorant free?

Ma$$: X-pected to retaliate to this on the Jabe Thread™?

Dave: X-ample of interbreeding?

Ma$$: X-aggerated reputation?

Dave: Boom.

That last one has to be right, because I've yet to be impressed by the hype. After hearing a ton of things about this guy, it's a shame that the vanity this guy walks around with is completely unfounded. A wanker this vain has to be the wrestler equivalent of the idea that this place doesn't need Ka$h. In other words, short sighted. Consider me as disappointed as S.E.Zero's girlfriend every time they fuck. As for the rest of his name, as in, the Hooligan part. Well, all I can say is, I know hooligans, Van, and you know as much about hooliganism as eddie does about JBW. Trust me, son, if you ever want a real life lesson in being a hooligan, come with me and my mates to a Millwall vs West Ham game--you'll never wrestle like you don't wanna break a finger nail again.

Dave: Next!

Number Nine

https://2img.net/r/ihimizer/img689/8800/icelfi1104468x762.jpg" border="0" alt=""/>

Vulgar

Ma$$: This guy is a walking lawsuit as far as I'm concerned. As in, I feel like suing the fuck out of JBW every time he's on screen. Why the fuck management feel the need to have this rapping abortion on the roster when I'm here I'll never know. The moment I jumped over the ringside barrier at that poorly named PPV, and sent that waste of air Proph packing from Jabe in style, they should have repackaged this goon. I mean, like, I know I don't roll with that gimmick anymore, but the fact that I could break out in a rap at any moment has to be a good enough reason to let this guy go. He's bringing this show down to levels it really doesn't need to be right now.

I'll tell you what, in an effort to persuade the JismMen and EddieEdwards of this company to just basically do what I'm asking, check this out.

Clears throat.

OK, I could tell Vulgar was a homo from his very first promo,
But he was a master of camouflaging it, even better than JoMo..
Speaking of promos, his promos make him sound like the retarded love child of C.G.Bigman and SoBlo,
Every word that he spits is a no no..
Every show he's booked on we all hope he's a no show, cause his matches all appear to be happening in slo mo..
A guy as bad as Vulgar could be put in a dark match, before the arena even opens and still stink up the whole show..
I sincerely don't know why someone ever hired him,
Whoever it was, I swear I'd love to be as high as him!
His matches with Smythy have bored the fucking piss out of me, but secretly I'm rooting for ol' Smythy to retire him..
I wanna ask Robstar to ban whoever his user is,
and get Frank to IP Ban him to ensure this fake arse Ludacris,
won't have no one to write that straight up school yard stupidness,
that that twat with the backwards cap spat last week for you bootlickers.

The crowd begin booing at that last line

Your boos only add credence to the fact that melt has lowered the bar around here to the point that I almost tripped over it. Having just raised it back up to levels that are the norm when I'm about, all I can say is.. de nada, amigo.

Dave: Which leads us into...

Number Eight.



Eddie Juarez

Ma$$: Here he is, guys. The Worlds Most Dangerous Man, apparently... Yeah, right! This wanker is about as dangerous as Drunk Jose on the fourth day of a three day bender.

Dave: Uh, that's impossible.

Ma$$: Nothings impossible for Drunk Jose when he's on a three day bender, Dave. Anyway, the focus here is Edward HhhuuWaaaRezzzz, and for claiming to be the most dangerous person on the whole planet, he is number eight of the list of top ten wankers in JBW. Does he realize just how many people are on this planet? Is he that fucking arrogant that he thinks he's the most dangerous person out of, like, billions of fucking people? Man, fuck that shit, ese, I know Moroccan mother fuckers from Ladbrooke Grove that would make him shit his pants. I know Poles in Brixton who would break his kneecaps for twenty fucking quid, t'rasklart! The only way that I would ever consider him to be dangerous, is the fact that his stinky burrito breath is actually quite bad for your health. Other than that, the only person he's a danger to is himself. He's as clueless in that ring as he is clumsy out of it. I hear that he's such a clutz around the house, all of the corners and edges of his furniture had to be rounded off, and he's only allowed to eat meals with plastic utensils.

Dave: I heard he once nearly drowned himself while opening a carton of milk.

Ma$$: Hahaha, yeah, that doesn't surprise me, Dave. Admittedly, those milk cartons are a bastard to open, but, I never knew that in the wrong hands they could be lethal.

Dave: Live and learn, Ma$$. Live and learn.

Ma$$: I learn something new every time I step foot in a Jabe arena these days. I learn how not to go about things. I also learn that no matter how big of a wanker someone is, there's always a bigger wanker out there. Right, Dave?

Dave: Yup. Like the next guy on this list.

Number Seven



Jason Alexander

Ma$$: I won't lie, I've always thought while he gives off that dreaded Indy wrestler vibe like no other, I've always kinda liked this guy.. BUT, years from now, historians will remember him for his god awful feud with Juarez. In my book, if you choose to be associated with a wanker, then that makes you an even bigger wanker, hence his placement on this list.

Number Six



Chris Divine

Ma$$: No way a list like this could be compiled without adding this mackerel.

Dave: Agreed, and then some, but tell the people why, Ma$$.

Ma$$: Maybe it's all the talking in third person bullshit that booked him a place on this list, 'cause if you're talking in third person and your names not The Rock or Istvan Gretzky, then you're a wanker.

Dave: That definitely makes him a wanker, but enough to be placed this high on a list above others?

Ma$$: How's about the fact that he's the Intercontinental Champion, and he's already made his aspirations to ditch that title and become the World Heavyweight Champion crystal clear. Like, it's cool to have dreams and all of that, but... Wow, talk about reaching for the stars. If this guy wins the JBW World Heavyweight Championship in twenty thirteen, there will have to have been some awfully short title reigns in the interim because there's a list longer than this one of guys who're more worthy of the the big one. In fact, I'd rather see Lenny fooking Lightning as world champ before I saw that sack of shit lift Jabes number one title.

Dave: I'd prefer to see Lenny as Intercontinental Champ, but it is what it is. Someone somewhere has a hard on over this guy.

Ma$$: Yeah, a hard on that ol' Christopher has had a proper nosh on, no doubt. Need any more reasons? How about the fact he wears sunglasses indoors? Or the fact that he acts holier than thou, and is a hero to fans all across the world, but behind the scenes is a bigger meth head than X-Pac ever was. I hate to bring guys out like that, but hypocrisy really gets stuck in my craw.

Dave: Yeah, he's like the Perry Saturn of Jabe.

Ma$$: Speaking of guys who resemble others...

Number Five

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_ahuvxRitU74/Szfk0eJ157I/AAAAAAAAPOM/Lel3ZiXB104/s400/3369__325x475_7a006d34d56e28241bc2a920920b91b2.jpg" border="0" alt=""/>

Tommy Thunder

Ma$$: I'm at a bit of a loss where to even start with this one, Dave.

Dave: How's about his lifted personalities?

Ma$$: What, like, how the first time he ever showed his face around these parts he thought he was Ken Kennedy?

Dave: Yeah, something along those lines, and then go from there.

Ma$$: OK, well, let's talk about the next time he showed his face around here he thought he was CM Punk, and had adopted the Pipe Bomb as his own.

Dave: When was that?

Ma$$: It was during EWNCW's invasion of JBW, which, I might add that -asinine backstage politics aside- JBW won one to zero. In fact, if memory serves me correct, I believe it was Thomas himself that was the deciding loser in that one.

Dave: Yeah, The Sandman royally slaughtered him and the show ended with him walking to the back with his head hung low while all the Jabe wrestlers laughed at him.

Ma$$: Yeah, where was his Pipe Bomb to help him then? Anyway, now he's once again shown his face around here, but, like, in an official capacity, he thinks he's Jericho, and, with his Jesus like super powers he's gonna save us all.

Dave: Yeah, I really feel he should have just stopped emulating guys after Kennedy.

Ma$$: Yeah, as ridiculous as that was, at least he wasn't punching above his weight there. As for saving folk, he couldn't save a cat stuck in a six foot tree if he had four fire engines and a bag of catnip. The fella's here to save his career from a life of week in week out mediocrity in that fed that I wouldn't be associated with if TBOZ came back and paid me a million quid a match. And how does he begin his crusade of self preservation? By verbally attacking the former owners of this shithole when he knows as much about the actual facts of things on this side of the eWN that he might as well have read about it in an online report by Ryan Clark himself!

Dave: Yeah, Meltzer Ryan ain't.

Ma$$: Man, fuck Meltzer as well. That guy gave Ma$$ vs K-Jammin at Wembley Stadium only four stars on account of the fact that PandaMassacre made an appearance.

Dave: Dude has to be the only person that saw that match who thought Panda debuting in JBW was a bad thing.

Ma$$: Anyway, as I was saying... Saviour? No. No way. Never. Laughable. Or, to out it in a way that the little number one Jerichoholic might understand.. RICOCKULOUS! Wanker? Of course. Naturally. Absolutely. Definitely. See, you may all hate the very air I breathe, people, but Tommy ain't here to save any of you--he's here to wank himself off in front of us all and encourage anybody watching to give him a hand. Sadly, I fear that there's more than a few out there willing to oblige this ePreadator. Like the next wanker on this list.

Number Four

[IMG]http://www.service-1.org/uploads/201108/26/imgs/red-angry-birds-halloween-mask_360x300.jpg

TDA

Dave: Holy shit! The JBW World Champion?!

Ma$$: ##SPOILER## TDA is gonna lose the strap to Tommy. Need I say anymore?

Number Three



S.E.Zero

Ma$$: That's right. Not only did he get totally punked out a couple of weeks ago by Dave, S.E.Z also happens to be the biggest wanker on the management team around here bar none. With him around eddie doesn't have to lift a finger, if you get me. S.E.Z is a guy who earned his stroke around here by being on hand to stroke everyone from Jose to Whatsy. Except JMan--remember, kids, JMan doesn't have a penis. S.E.Z on the other hand has no balls, so, while he may be a wanker of wanktastic proportions, he's actually harmless. So, next time you see S.E.Z on the street, or at an arena, make sure you call him a wanker knowing for sure that he won't do anything about it. Plus, his straight edge gimmick is a lie. CrackHeadZero is more like it.

Dave: All I've got to say is.. Hashtag, gutless wanker. Hashtag, do something about it.

Number Two



Malcolm Cage

Ma$$: Enough has been said about this never-will-be, so all I'll say is, for thinking he will beat me at In Justice For Brawl, he's almost the biggest wanker in Jabe. Almost

Number one



[B]Athena

Ma$$: Yes, you guessed it, there's not a bigger wanker in Jabe right now, than this fella. Probably got the biggest thing between his legs than anyone on that list, as well. Obviously, I'm not insinuating that Athena has a penis, but after the wicked amount of 'roids it's injected into it's arse, its clit has enlarged to the point that it swings freely below the knee, or, so a certain Godslayer told me--he reckons he's seen it first hand. This arrogant bastard is walking around this company claiming to be too good to face women. Well, I doubt Athena could even beat PandaMassacre, let alone any one of the guys in JBW. so, for punching above its weight, and not acknowledging its true status in life, Athena has been nominated as the number one wanker in all of JBW.

Dave: Great choice.

Ma$$: Damn right, great cho-

[VIDEO]**INSERT URL FOR ATHENAS THEME TUNE**[/VIDEO]

Pat: Oh boy, here we go!! It's Athena!! She's not gonna take this insult lying down!

Pat: We’re in for a hell of a main event tag team match here, Duds. Two dream teams are about to go at it.

Dudley: No doubt.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZNCrLV8W_M

Darren Black: Introducing first, from our nation’s capital; HolyJosee eee!

Pat: Jose will get Shuriken one on one at In Justice For Brawl, but you have to imagine they’ll be looking for each other here tonight as well.

Dudley: Shuriken’s in for it tonight. He’s got major history with both of his opponents.

Pat: He also has the World Heavyweight Champion watching his back.

Dudley: If you ask me, the rightful holder of that title just slid into the ring.

Pat: Please.

As Jose takes a seat on the top rope and waits, it’s unclear whether the boos filling the arena are for him, or in anticipation of…

Darren Black: And his partner, from Colorado Springs, Colorado; “The Storm” Tommy! Thunder!

…the number one contender for the World Heavyweight Championship. Thunder soaks in the heat for a moment before walking down the ramp.

Pat: Like him or not, Tommy Thunder gave the Jabe fateful a look at just how good he is last week. KJ Punk threw everything at The Storm and he still couldn’t pick up the win.

Dudley: I’m glad you recognize how great Tommy was in that match, Pat.

Pat: I do, but in the same breath, I don’t think Thunder beats Devs at IJFB.

Dudley: Of course you don’t.

Thunder, without more than a nod in Jose’s general direction, slides into the ring and heads to his corner as the crowd begins to buzz.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNrF4uwZNBY&feature=my_liked_videos&list=L

Darren Black: And their opponents, first, from Los Angeles, California; Ryusuke “Shuriken” Serraaaaa!

The crowd pops big for Serra, but he quickly quiets them with an index finger to the lips before motioning back toward the curtain. With that, TDA’s pyro explodes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCtEmXBvuI4

And his partner, the JBW World Heavyweight Champion; TheDevilsAdvocateeee!

When the heavy smoke from TDA’s pyro clears, we see Shuriken and Devs are already walking down the ramp in lock step. The old rivals have a little conference at the base of the ramp, crowd cheering like crazy around them, before sliding under the bottom rope in unison. Apparently that little meeting of the minds was to decide who would start things off, because TDA quickly heads out to the apron. On the other side, without a visible conversation being had, it seems Tommy will be the one to start things.

Pat: EWNCW marks, eat your heart out. Thunder versus Shuriken will start us off here in the main event on KillZone!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lt7MaYRoBBk

Pat: Wow. They haven’t shown any outward signs of it, but Tommy and Jose are working great as a unit. Shuriken has yet to tag in TDA and he’s in no position to do it now.

With Jose putting 300 pounds of weight on a downed Shuriken as he applies a headlock, that’s a fair statement from Pat. The crowd are doing all they can to get Serra going, but it’s not working. And then it is. Shuri’, fueled by sheer force of will and the roars of the crowd, stars to stir. First to one knee, then two, then to his feet, then, with everything he’s got in the tank, Serra lifts Jose up and slams him down with a big back body drop.

Shuriken, knowing this is his chance, starts crawling toward TDA. Devs’ is about ready to explode into the ring when Serra, only an arm’s length away from making the tag, gets pulled back to the opposite corner by a newly legal Tommy Thunder.

Pat: Crap.

Thunder, though, makes a mistake by pulling Serra back by the foot. That allows Shuri’, savvy veteran that he is, to spring up and connect with an enzhsiguri to the side of Tommy’s head. With the crowd going nuts, Thunder flops through the middle rope and onto the floor. Shuriken quickly crawls his way over to TDA and, to a tremendous pop, makes the tag.

Dudley: Oh, no.

Devs flies into the ring and, not really caring if he’s the legal man or not, runs to the opposite corner and flips Jose over the ropes and into the ring. Jose nips up quickly, but is sent back down just as fast with a clothesline. Devs’ sends his former protégé’ down again after Jose nips up. The third time, though, Jose is ready for the clothesline, ducks it and goes for one of his own. TDA, however, ducks that and responds with a straight right to Jose’s nose. Holy is staggered, but he fires back.

Jose!

TDA!

Jose!

TDA!

TDA!

Jose!

TDA!

Jose!

Jose!

Jose!

Jose gets the upper hand, but from nowhere, Shuriken hits Holy with a massive Boma Ye to the temple!

Pat: My god, he killed him! Woah, Thunder with a Shining Wizard on the champion!

TDA had to go into a catchers squat to avoid the flying Serra and, when he did, Thunder used the chaos around him as a diversion, snuck back into the ring and nailed the Wizard.

Dudley: Here’s the cover!

One!

Two!

Here comes Shuriken!

Three!

Darren Black: Your winners, HolyJose and Tommy Thunder!

Dudley: Tommy Thunder just pinned the World Heavyweight Champion !

Because of Shuriken’s bum knee, due to hurting it on Jose’s skull, he wasn’t fast enough to break up the cover and Tommy picks up the huge win. We end this sixth episode of KillZone with a shot of the winners, both a little worse for wear but heathly enough to gloat, sitting in one corner and the losers, Shuriken on his good knee trying to talk TDA awake, in the other.

Dudley: What a war, what a win, what a show!

JBW